Journey Through a Dark Valley

Some time ago, I don’t know when, I started a journey through a dark valley. I started to become aware that something wasn’t quite right back in late January. No more hunger or thirst and funny feeling down my stomach.

My wife and I had planned a driving trip along the Atlantic coast and took off early in February. It was a good trip but the symptoms persisted. I made an appointment with the doctor as soon as we got back and the process started. It turned out to be stage IV Esophageal cancer and we became aware that the journey had started. I’d like to journal some of this travel and share feelings, thoughts and experiences.

As with most, I Googled the dark combination of words and read some of the results. The statistics are abysmal. My wife and I new that in one major way nothing had changed—we are only given a day at a time to experience life. As cliché as it sounds, no one is promised tomorrow. I can say that I was at peace with this situation from the beginning and handed the details and outcomes over to God.

Most days are different than before in the sense of spending more time in medical facilities and battling things that were not issues before like fatigue and fever and loss of energy—so far, no pain.

Shortly after starting radiation, I couldn’t swallow effectively and required a feeding tube. And medically that’s where I am right now.

I’ve had a range of experiences with other people, both relatives and chance encounters in the hospital. I realized many were experiencing a profound fear of loss because some loved one was going through a similar experience. I shared with each and sometimes cried with them trying to assure them that they must concentrate on what they have and not the fear of what may be. With each encounter I had a growing respect of the “…lives of quiet desperation…”

My first deep sobbing experience came when it dawned on my that my wife might be left alone. I can’t tell you how deeply that hurt. God brought us together over forty years ago and she has been everything anyone could want of a mate. I had glibly assumed that we would care for one another all the days of our lives. Now I could see that may not be the outcome and I grieved deeply.

We also have five wonderful boys, all Christian and good fathers and husbands. I could hear and see the pain they were suffering and, again, I grieved. We have been entirely open with this so all of the children explained to all of the grandchildren. The oldest, a precious young teenager had her mom bring her to see us. The crying started as soon as the door opened and we cried through to some peace.

You know, right now, peace is a key word. I’ve derived some satisfaction from having each of my boy’s express that they’ve now achieved peace.

This travel will be disjointed and if your interested, stop back now a then for other experiences and updates.

Food for Fuel

Castro has spoken out out on US plans for using biofuel.

Though there’s not much meat in the article, I find myself in general agreement with his complaint. We do, indeed, face a multifaceted energy crisis. Some of the paths traveled to this crisis were not very well thought out. For example, we decided to use natural gas to generate a portion of our electricity. This was to green-up our generation system. This resulted in using as much natural gas for generation as people use for heating and, thus, undue hardships in paying for the heat.

Now we are thinking about using food as a fuel source. Castro’s right, diverting food to fuel can only result in not having it available for those in need. In addition, there is considerable scientific skepticism about the overall efficiency of biofuels. This emphasizes the point that we must have a well thought out program to improve our energy supply system from both the standpoints of efficiency and environmental protection.

Technorati Tags:biofuel, Castro, energy generation, energy

Libby

I became interested in the Libby trial about the time the case was given to the jury. I started reading previously published articles as the days in deliberation grew. The thing that began to dawn on me is that these high profile prosecutions often seem to create crimes rather than getting to the bottom of their original objectives.

President Clinton was taken to task about lying, so was the case with Martha Stewart and now the same with Libby. The Clinton case was, of course, the most notable because of the excessive time, extraordinary cost and the involvement of a sitting president. I get the sense that the prosecutors grow to think of themselves as more important than the tasks they were given. In all of these cases, the original charges disappeared and were replaced by a crime created during the investigation.

Jury interviews I’ve seen and read about following trials have been somewhat disturbing. From their own admissions, it would seem that the juries tend to go somewhat beyond the evidence when they deliberate. The first press conference following the Libby verdict was no different. Denis Collins referred to:

“…the defense "badgering" Judy Miller may have hurt them as some jurors developed "sympathy" for her. Even though she admitted having a "bad memory," the fact that she had notes counted a lot in her favor, he said. Despite the badgering, some jurors thought Miller was "nice."

He also made reference to the sympathy that the jury had for Libby and that they felt that he was a “fall guy” and so on.

It would seem to me that our justice system may no work very well during these high profile cases. It may be advisable to seek immunity from prosecution of lying before ever offering any information to investigators.

Technorati Tags:Libby, Martha Stewart, high profile prosecution, Clinton

Amen

I say amen to the fact that the The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its findings this month. Why? Because now we have an official declaration that the globe is warming and that we have seen the enemy. It’s done, the self-flagellation has been administered and we can move on. This is a serious issue and deserves profound national and global debate.

In moving on there has been a rash of interesting articles that must have been awaiting the epiphany. One of my favorites was in Newsweek by Fareed Zakaria. The crux is that we are not going to significantly affect greenhouse gases for decades—this also seems to be “scientifically settled”. This raises the question of how we should prioritize this mammoth problem.

First, the reduction of greenhouse gas and particulate emissions is in our best interests even if such a reduction has no affect on global climate change. Think of the impact of such a reduction on disease and foreign energy dependence. We can make large improvements through conservation and the use of existing technology—no need to wait for break-throughs or burden ourselves with the Kyoto Protocol. Instead we need national leadership. We need the vision and courage that JFK displayed with his sixties space initiative. Only directed toward clean air, protection of water and the efficient production and use of energy. We, as a nation, can do it if inspired and guided.

Secondly, Zakaria noted that the sea level could rise as much as two feet before the end of this century. If we believe this to be a probable event, we would be wise to consider consistent national policies. For example, should government spending encourage continued growth and development of those coastal areas likely to be inundated? We did this with New Orleans and suffered the consequences of the inevitable statistical event that ends in monumental tragedy.

Technorati Tags:conservation, global warming, climate change

CSS – A Way to Design and Manage Web Pages

I got a Christmas present this year that keeps on giving—“CSS The Missing Manual” by David Sawyer McFarland. It’s for the beginner and it’s well done, understandable, easy to read and contains workable design suggestions. I just completed it and have applied the concepts on several projects. Here’s some background.

Browsers present the sights and sounds of the World Wide Web on your computer. You are probably using Microsoft’s Internet Explorer, Netscape, Opera, Safari or Mozilla’s Firefox. You instruct a browser to display your web page by sending it a set of HTML-related instructions. These instructions can be manually composed or can be composed by WYSIWYG applications. These applications make the task easier and more intuitive. Examples are Microsoft’s FrontPage and Adobe’s Dreamweaver.

Traditionally, all of the content (text, data and images) and the appearance (fonts, colors, placements, etc.) was coded into the HTML. Content and the control of appearance are separated when using CSS. Good practice dictates that the HTML contain only the content and than the CSS controls the appearance of the web page. There are compelling reasons for doing this:

A change in style, e.g. changing a color or font, involves changes in specific areas of the CSS. Otherwise, each item affected would need to be found and changed in the HTML.
Web pages designed for one browser can look different, sometimes disturbingly, in other browsers. Since this is a matter of appearance, style sheets can be composed and called upon for particular browsers. This is one method of rendering the appearance of a web page the same in various browsers.

Most people prefer using WYSIWYG methods of designing web pages. WordPress and XStandard are examples of WYSIWYG applications that use the HTML and CSS method for the design. Once a page is designed by one of these editors, style sheets can easily be edited or added to make overall style changes or to make adaptations for various browsers.

If you’re interested in this concept, I recommend the book.

Technorati Tags:CSS, Web Page Design, HTML, Browsers

I’m an Optimist

I remember when Newt Gingrich was the focal point for the Republicans overthrowing a corrupt Democratic congress. He communicated his visions with the voters through the Contract with America. The contract was a team effort and drew from one of Reagan’s SOTU addresses and The Heritage Foundation policy ideas. Gingrich, though was the major communicator. It’s argued that election polling indicated that only 30% of the voters were aware of the contract but when you think of the big chunk that vote straight, 30% is massive.

What followed were the Republicans replacing the Democrats in sufficient numbers to control the House. I also remember Gingrich’s enthusiasm in settling into the job and my optimism. He was going to plod through the realization of the Contract and even lose some weight as he was doing it. He didn’t foresee the hacks, having no interest in a Contract with America, flooding in from the wings with visions of retribution, building fiefdoms and pushing pet projects. Chief among the group was the already entrenched DeLay who would eventually help bring the era Gingrich ushered in to an end.

Now we have Nancy Pelosi. Similarly, she engineered an overthrow of the corrupt Republican House. Not so similarly, however, she did it not by capturing the voters imaginations but by rallying and whipping her disarrayed democratic colleagues into line. She herded them into a united front against the administration and it was effective. The difference in implementation may prove to be important. The Democratic hacks will be driven to exact retribution, build fiefdoms and push pet projects. She just may have the leadership punch to contain the small minds and turn the debate toward our pressing issues.

I hope so and I wish her well.

Technorati Tags:Gingrich, Contract with America, Pelosi, Congress

Good Article

Just read Kathleen Parker’s Trading Ambition for Passion. She notes that both Gore and Kerry hit high points in communicating when they delivered their “drop out” speeches. Great point and effective examples.

Hopefully, most run for office because of beliefs and visions. Those who do, should take note of this article and express those passions rather than just trying to get elected. There is no stronger leader than one who operates from those passions. And none weaker than those who try to follow the will of the wisp known as the “will of the people”.

Technorati Tags:Gore, Kerry, passion, ambition, Kathleen Parker, Washington Post

What Inspired That?

We passed an interesting roadside sign. There are many humorous postings about signs that involve mistakes or odd combinations. My favorites, though, are the ones that make you wonder about what happened to make the sign necessary

We sighted one years ago while traveling in upper New York. One of the kids spotted it. It warned “No Road Work without Permit”. Think about what might have happened to inspire that sign. Possibly started with a family sitting around on the porch after dinner. To break the monotony somewhat proposes “let’s have some fun and fix some potholes.”

The one we passed today was a simple, hand-made sign announcing “Anthracite Coal For Sale”. Couldn’t help wondering if they started with just “Coal For Sale” and suffered the wrath of someone yearning for Bituminous.

Technorati Tags:signs,humorous

Our National Nightmare

I welcomed President Ford’s declaration and had hoped it would be true. It wasn’t.

I believe most of us strive to be what all of us know to be good--honest, truthful, caring, dependable. Ford did. Fewer of us seem to be driven by other forces. That smaller group grew increasingly influential over the past fifty years. Ford didn’t realize that he had become president during the early part of this transition. His attempt at healing our nation’s festering wounds was met with strident rebukes. The political strife that followed his presidency was not substantially different than what preceded it.

Those long on criticism but short on solutions, burdened with agendas but devoid of vision and obsessed with character assassination but unwilling to debate issues eventually dominated both parties and elected two presidents.

Perhaps the two tragic and recent wars will bookend their time of influence. Our profound problems, like global warming and healthcare, require serious debate and effective solutions. We will be well served when the congress is again dominated by the qualities found in Hubert Humphrey and Barry Goldwater and the presidency by the visionary leadership of the FDRs and JFKs of our society.

Technorati Tags:funeral, President Ford, Vietnam, Iraq, values